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buddha, grati, khalil gibran, love, peace, root of suffering, thomas d craig, Zen, zenwarrior
By: Thomas D. Craig – Zen Warrior
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” -Khalil Gibran
The root of suffering is wishing life was different than it actually is.
Take that in for a moment and think about times when you have been unhappy, frustrated or were going through difficult times in your life. I challenge you to find a time where your frustration didn’t come from your expectation that life should be different that the reality that existed. Both my daughters hate then I tell them this; yet, they know it’s true. They will dwell in unhappiness and become extremely frustrated and I will start the phrase, “you know, the root of unhappiness…”, and they quickly respond with a sigh “I know, I know…wishing life was different than it actually is.”
As human beings we dwell and cling to the fantasy that life was somehow easier or better in the past or that it will be drastically different with some mythical, changed future. Or mind only remembers the pleasant times and leads us to believe in these false treasures and we cling to these “if only” thoughts. I hear these all the time when I am coaching people, “if only I had a new job….THEN I would be happy.” “If only I was in a new relationship….THEN I would be fulfilled.” This mindset is a false mindset that leads us away from the present and amplifies the vibration that this moment, this life is inadequate. If we are constantly in a state that our life is not enough, then how is it possible to find peace and satisfaction in your life. This “if only” mindset creates the false impression that our happiness comes from something external, some event or thing. This is the ultimate lie that we live as we look outward instead of the ultimate journey in looking within. It is within that we can settle the mind, find peace, love, and live in the present moment of NOW at all times. It is here in this moment of NOW that we can find gratitude even during the most difficult moments of our lives.
Whenever I hear someone say “if only” I challenge them with the statement of “AND THEN WHAT?” They always get more intense, defensive and repeat the comment even louder “if only I had more money, THEN I will be happy.” Whatever the reason the “AND THEN” part of the response will never be satisfied as they are looking external to satisfy their needs. In this case, if this person received more money their paradigm would shift again to need MORE money or MORE of something else. They have not satisfied their inner hole of what was driving the inadequacies in the first place. In this case the person equated money with happiness and I don’t think I need to tell you that this equation is false. Satisfaction and happiness comes from within and the understanding that this moment and every moment is filled with extraordinary things all around you. Each moment is a blank slate for you to experience whatever it is for you to experience. It might be a a moment of learning, or a moment to be at one with nature around you, or to hear the laugh of a child. The transition of the mind from that of not enough or lacking to one of GRATITUDE in each moment is a seismic shift in your state of being. SEISMIC. Your being shifts from anger, frustration, or some other negative emotion to one of pure, simple gratitude. The state of gratitude is a state of love. In this state, your vibration is peaceful and loving. These negative emotions cannot exist in a state of gratitude. It is important to understand that you are at the cause and accountable for your unhappiness. You alone are choosing frustration and unhappiness versus the state of love and gratitude. We cannot choose what happens to us in life, yet we can always choose how we react to each moment. This is the shift. It starts with understanding that the root of suffering is wishing your life was different than it actually is and getting present to each moment. From here it is shifting to a state of gratitude for each moment no matter what life throws your way. Every moment is a chance to learn and/or teach. Every moment is unique, and one to cherish. Each moment is filled with a breath and an experience. Every present moment a choice for you to experience and choose your state of being. Understand the root of your suffering and choose gratitude. This is the treasure underneath the root of suffering.
Namaste, be well, be love
Thomas D. Craig
Zen Warrior 