“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ~ Rumi
It has taken me a lifetime to understand that vulnerability is strength, that an open heart takes courage. As a man, this principle goes against everything in how I was raised. I grew up in a small, rural, mill town, a place that if I could describe in short I would say it is old school. Old school in that boys played football, didn’t show their emotion or feelings and kept their pain in check. The be strong and act like a man mentality. This fear induced mentality has limited our growth and spiritual evolution. Yet, you still hear the remnants of this message today. Words that oppress and control women, or fight against feminism and equal wages. Words that divide and create classes, or control. This level of thinking is like the 12 year old bully with little or no depth, quick to anger using the sole judgement of physical strength. This is primal, at the lowest level of our being. It comes from the mantra that the strong will survive, physical evolution. The thought that we should never show our weaknesses or vulnerability. Yet, we are no longer a primal animal fending off the fierce creatures in the night. We are spiritual beings that are in a physical existence. When we flip this context, it is easy to see that the foundation of this mentality is based on fear and simply a mask to cover our perceived weaknesses.
As a spiritual being that is looking within, I have spent many years silencing my mind, and these old school, preconceived ideas on who I was supposed to be as a man. As I have shed these layers of self I have also shed these layers I built to shield myself from connection and love. You see, when we build these layers and masks that we wear we may shield others from our fear and weakness, yet we also keep people out and away from our true inner being. We create a sphere of isolation around us no matter how many relationships we have. Deep down we know this, we know we are not authentic or real. We understand that we are acting in our own play, pretending to be something for someone. We hold back and reserve our heart. We keep our stiff upper lips, and we keep our fear and worries to ourselves and we close our hearts. One cannot fully love unless their heart is fully open. Quid pro quo. This is life, what we want we must first become. If we want unconditional love, we must be unconditional love. Unconditional love is love without the boundaries, with no masks. It is a fully exposed heart. Yet our mind wants to shield us. The questions pound in our mind, what if they do not accept me and my weaknesses? What if I love and they do not love back? What if…? Our mind fights these questions and holds us in check. Our mind keeps us safe by keeping us confined. It takes courage to put your heart fully out there. This is the paradox as vulnerability is not weakness it is strength. To live a life exposed and out there authentically is the hardest path. It is a path that anyone can judge, yet it is also a path that has no limits. It is a path that is entirely free. No more lies, no more masks, just an exposed, vulnerable heart.
In this vulnerability we find empathy, and compassion. We find love at its root, its deepest level. In this we find authenticity and the depth of our path in this life. The courage to take this difficult path is rewarded in the relationships and authentic experiences we have in opening our heart.
To this I ask you to open your heart, find your vulnerability, remove any barriers that you have to love, and live authentically, love unconditionally and teach your children that this is the path. Let the old school way of being go and remove any predisposed way of being. I train and compete in martial arts, yet I will be the first to shed a tear with my daughters or tell them that I love them. This is the way of a Zen Warrior, the way of an open heart.
Be love for this is your source. Be authentic and vulnerable, in this you will find your freedom and deep connections in this lifetime.
Thomas D. Craig
Love. Inspire. Unite